


Another You, Another Me, Another Life

by Leighabel



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Jealousy, Pregnancy, Regret, Unrequited Love, danse's first name is william, fight me, synths can have kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-13
Updated: 2017-07-13
Packaged: 2018-12-01 14:02:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11487864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leighabel/pseuds/Leighabel
Summary: It's been a month since they had destroyed the Institute. It's been a month since the last hope of Lottie getting her son back was shattered. A month since she had taken this synth child, Shaun, into her life. A month since she had slammed the door in Maxson’s face when he threatened to kill that last thing she had left of her son. It had been a month since Maxson had seen her. A month since Maxson had realized he loved her.





	Another You, Another Me, Another Life

It's been a month since they had destroyed the Institute. It's been a month since the last hope of Lottie getting her son back was shattered. A month since she had taken this synth child, Shaun, into her life. A month since she had slammed the door in Maxson’s face when he threatened to kill that last thing she had left of her son. It had been a month since Maxson had seen her. A month since Maxson had realized he loved her.

 

_“Let's go, Proctor, get us out of here.” He called, looking around the relay._

_“Sure thing, but this kid showed up…” He turned and looked at the child. He was dressed in Institute clothes, with Lottie’s platinum blonde hair and gray eyes. Along with those same freckled cheeks and small nose. He knew what Ignum was going to say, though he knew she didn’t understand the meaning behind it. “He claims to be the Paladin's son.”_

_He looked to Lottie, watching her reaction. “Please Mom, don’t leave me here! I’m scared…” The child cried, holding his arms out to her._

_‘Damn synth.’ He waited for his Paladin to shut down this lie. However, as she looked over to the child he knew that wasn’t going to happen. She nodded and walked closer to him, holding him close._

_“Oh don’t worry, I wasn’t going to Shaun… Come on, let’s get you someplace safe…” Her voice was soft and shaking. He gritted his teeth, about to order her to end this, but as she looked up at him he lost all will to fight her. Her eyes were watering, pleading with him not to take this away from her. She was about to condemn her son to death, for him. No not for him, for the brotherhood, for the Commonwealth._

_“Proctor send us to the detonation site, take the Paladin’s child back to the Prydwen and get him some real clothes…” He tried to make his voice as commanding as possible, but he had that pain in his heart again. ‘No, focus.’ He scolded himself. Then in a flash of blue, he was there on top of the building with Lottie by his side._

 

He shouldn’t have given in, just as he shouldn’t have given in with Danse.

 

_“You can’t kill him!” She balled her fists as she yelled at Maxson. He was so hurt, so confused, his best friend was the thing he hated. He didn’t want to do this, but he had to. There was no other option._

_“Yes, I can, he is not human. He is the monster we came to destroy.” His voice was hard as he took a step closer. Danse kneeled down and bowed his head in defeat._

_“I understand. I don’t blame you, Arthur.” He had accepted this fate. Though clearly, Lottie hadn’t. As Maxson stepped forth to end this, Lottie’s small body stepped in front of Danse. Her arms spread as she glared up at him._

_“If you want to kill him, you’re going to have to kill me first.” Her voice was steady, not a hint of hesitation. She wore almost no armor. Her vault suit with her bomber jacket the only things protecting her small body from the elements. She was so vulnerable; her weapon lay beside her. Physically he could have killed her easily, but he knew he couldn’t. ‘Waist of a good soldier…’ He told himself. But he knew that wasn’t the only reason, he had that pain in his heart again. ‘Not the time for this.’_

_“You would give up your life for this thing?” He looked her up and down, her hardened expression. He remembered when they met for the first time how soft she had been. She had really become a soldier._

_“Yes, I would give up my life for this man.” Her voice was stern, powerful._

_“Fine…” He shook his head and lowered his knife as he laid out the rules for allowing Danse to live._

 

A mistake. The first of many he would make for her. She was so headstrong. Thrown into a world where she had to learn to fight and kill to survive. Of course, she would cling to anything that reminded her of her past. He didn’t blame her for the mistakes he had made, it was him who was to blame. He was the one who gave in, gave into the feelings he had for her, even if he didn’t have a name for them. He was the one who had let her get this grip on his heart that she didn’t even know was there. So, he gave her Danse. The first solid thing in her life, a soldier who reminded her so much of the protective embrace of her lost husband.

He played every memory of her over and over in his head, every conversation, every glance, every accidental touch. He had no idea if he’d ever see her again. For so long he had wanted her. She was beautiful, strong even with her small form. She could talk her way in or out of any situation and she was so incredibly smart. He wanted her so badly, but by the time he had arrived in the commonwealth her and Danse were already together. So, he stepped back. However, as he spent more time with her his want grew. He thought it was only lust. A new toy for him to play with. But in those moments, the ones he played over and over, he knew it was more than that. He didn’t know how much more, but his want for her had turned to need. Though it was not until he saw that look in her eyes did he truly know he loved her.

When that child looked into her eyes and called her mom, even though he was not her son and she knew that he was made by her son. Her son’s last wish was to protect and love this child, give him a normal life. He had already made her kill her son. Him telling her to kill the last thing she had of him, to betray his last wish, that had pushed her too much.  She pleaded with him, her heart was broken and he had done that. In that moment he realized he never wanted to see that look in her eyes again, he wanted to protect her from heartbreak, he wanted to help her heal. But before he could find the words she was gone.

 

_“Maxson-” Her eyes were watering._

_“No Paladin I can’t allow this abomination to live on my ship. This needs to end.” He crosses his arms behind his back, he was looking at her mouth unable to meet her pleading eyes._

_“No please… Arthur please… I’ve already given my son please don’t make me give this one as well…” She takes a step closer to him, tears running down her cheeks._

_He looks down into her eyes, he wanted to fix this. He wants to tell her yes. It’s not like anyone else would know. No one knew Father had been her son. He would know though… “Lottie… I can’t. If you cannot destroy it I will.”_

_Her eyes widen and she takes a step back. “He’s only a boy Arthur!”_

_“He’s not a boy, he’s a synth, a monster.”_

_Her jaw clenches. “No Elder, you are the monster.” She turns and opens the door. He wants to call her, tell her to stay, tell her she could keep the boy but the words are caught in his throat. She walks out, taking the boy’s hand. She looks back at him, looking into his eyes with a mix of sadness and anger. She slams the door._

 

It's been seven months since they had destroyed the Institute. Seven months since she had walked out on the Brotherhood, walked out on him. It’s been six months since a scribe had told him that his Paladin was in Diamond City with her son. It had been six months of him trying to forget her. It had been a week since he had given up. A week since he went to Proctor Tegan and asked for common clothes and a hat. Two days since he gotten them. Today he was going.

He had sunglasses to cover his eyes, his beard had grown out to cover his scar, he was dressed in casual clothes. Even the pilot of his vertibird didn’t recognize him till he talked. They flew him close to the city, just out of sight. He walked past the guards and into the city. It was smaller than he thought it would be. He saw the red door with a power armor stand beside it. He sat at the stand in the middle of the bustling market. A robot came over, speaking a language he didn’t understand. A woman next to him smiled and said, “Just say yes, it’s the only thing he understands…” He nodded and said yes, purchasing a bowl of noodles. He didn’t eat them, simply playing with them as he watched the door.

“Shaun!” The door opened and a boy ran out, Shaun. He could hear her voice calling out to the child. She moved and stood in the door, her hands on her hips. She was wearing simple clothes, a loose pink dress with her bomber jacket. The dog she had brought onto the Prydwen a couple times sat at her feet. The boy stopped and turned round. “Forgetting something?” She chided the child.

“Right sorry!” The boy ran back to her, hugging her and kissing her on the cheek. “Bye Mom!” He called out as he rushed towards the school building.

She stood in the doorway and smiled. “You have the most beautiful smile…” Danse’s voice came to his ears as he watched his old friend hold Lottie close to him.

“Oh hush you! You have to say that.” She rolled her eyes. “Now go, you’ve got work.”

Danse smirked at her. “I can be late…” He kissed her deeply before she pushed on his chest breaking the kiss.

“No you can’t, you being late is what got us into this mess…” She laughed at him. Maxson wondered what that meant. He couldn’t take his eyes off her, her eyes, her freckles, her rosy cheeks, her soft lips. “I have to finish cleaning then head to work myself. So don’t make me late.” She smiles and kisses his cheek before pushing him away as she disappeared into the house again, followed by her dog.

Danse walked away, but Maxson couldn’t take his eyes off the door. Her laugh, her smile. She was so carefree, so happy. He got lost in his thoughts before he felt a gun against his back. Danse’s voice low in his ear. “Stand up and walk with me Arthur…”

Maxson stood. Danse leads him out of the market, past the fields of farmers, to back behind an old car. He shoved Maxson against the wall. “Why are you here?” His voice was firm, as was the hand holding the gun to Maxson’s stomach.

“I came to see my Paladin.” Maxson tries to match Danse’s stern tone. But it was hard with a gun against him.

“Oh really? Why now, it’s been seven months Maxson so why now?” Danse sounded worried, protective. “You come into my town and watch my family. After all, you’ve put me through. So why?”

“I needed to see her…” His voice chokes on the words, the first time he had said that out loud, the first time he had really admitted it. “I’ve been trying for months to forget and let her go but I couldn’t… I just… I needed to see her. I didn’t know you would be here…”

“You knew we were together, why would you not think I was with her?” His voice was unwavering, hard, protective.

“I didn’t think you two still were together…” He looks his old friend over. Domestic life seemed to be treating him well. The flannel shirt he wore hugged his muscles, showing he had kept up with his exercise routine. The jeans look nice on him, made him look softer. Even with that murderous look in his eyes, he looked soft and content.

“What you think because I’m a synth she was gonna leave me?” He let out a huff. “Well, I thought the same… But apparently, she doesn’t care. She loves me just the same now as she did before she knew… Says ‘Love doesn’t care how you were made or if there is a component in your head or not’.” He narrows his eyes. “So I can’t blame you for that… But I would like you to explain why you _need_ to see her…”

“Danse, I…” He looks down at the gun against his stomach. How could he explain that he was in love with her… He couldn’t. “I wanted to apologize. I shouldn’t have asked her to kill the last thing she had left of her child… I want her to come back to the brotherhood, we need her.” He stopped there, unspoken words hanging in the air, ‘I need her’.

“No.” His voice was stern. “I don’t care how much _the Brotherhood_ needs her. You can’t have her back.” He was clearly picking up on Arthur's unsaid words.

“Danse I understand-” He started but was cut off.

“You don’t understand anything Arthur. The Brotherhood took everything from me! I escaped from the Institute, whipped my memories from the past and was sent out to find a new life. I didn’t know what I was, I joined and gave my everything to the brotherhood. I used to say, ‘There is brotherhood and then there is everything else’. Then I met her and suddenly there was Lottie, the brotherhood and everything else. Then you found out I was something I had no control over and you sent my lover to kill me, then my best friend. Then I was allowed to live and I had no idea what I was going to do, I thought she would leave me and I’d have nothing. But she looked in my eyes and then it was simple, there is Lottie and then there is everything else. And it was like that for months and we were happy. I hated sharing her with the brotherhood, but she had to see it to the end. Then I saw that explosion and I thought we could be happy, the two of us in our home in Diamond City. Then she came home in tears with Shaun on her hip and I never thought I could be so happy. Because it was Lottie and Shaun and everything else could go fuck itself. And now with… If you think you can come in here and take my wife, well I’ll shoot you right here, right now and let the consequences be damned.”

“I’m sorry… You’re right, I don’t understand…” He looks down. “You two got married?” He asks, looking down at the simple gold band on his ring finger.

“Have been for about five months now. I asked her a month after she got back with Shaun, we were married a month later... All her friends were there. It was lovely.” He looks down at his ring. “Best five months of my life.”

He nods. “I see…” He takes a deep breath. “Well, I’ll leave you two then. I hope you have a good life with her…” He didn’t want to say those words. He wanted to tell him that he loved her, that he needed her. But Danse was right, he had taken his whole life away from him. All his friends, brothers and sisters in arms, gone because of him.

The gun against him softens, Danse’s shoulders relax. “Thank you, I’ll see you out of the city.” However before they turned a voice washed over them, soft and sweet.

“Love, what's going on? Who is this?” Arthur turns to look at her, her arms resting lightly on her belly and he can see it, the small bump hidden under the loose dress and his heart is shattered. And he deserved that didn’t he, he’d done it to her so many times now it was his turn.

“Lottie… Um, don’t worry about this. Go home.” Danse was tripping over his words, worried. He wanted to keep her away from him, not that Arthur blamed him.

“Will, what did I say about lying to me?” She moves closer, looking closely at Arthur. “What’s going on?”

Arthur looks into her eyes. “Hello, Lottie…” His voice was soft, not normal for him. Though in this moment all that matters was her, fuck his image and his priorities.

“Arthur?” Her eyes widen, taking a step back her arms wrapping protectively around her rounded belly.

And there it was, fear. Fear filling her eyes, dripping from her voice as she says his name.

“Don’t talk to her like that,” Danse growls, shoving him back against the wall. “Don’t look at her like that.”

“William please…” She moves forward, her hands resting on his arm. “If you kill him think of the consequences… We would never be able to stop running.” Danse looks down to her and nods before holstering his weapon. She looks into Arthur’s eyes, filled with anger and fear. “What are you doing here Maxson?” She was controlling herself, keeping her voice hard.

He hated he was the reason for that fear, that anger. “I’m here to convince you to come back to the brotherhood. The Citadel wants to meet the woman who took down the institute and Kells and I had planned to promote you for all you’ve done.” He stands tall, crossing his arms behind his back.

“A promotion? You’re kidding me, right? First, you promote me for ‘killing’ the love of my life than you want to promote me for killing my son. You’re sick.” She looks at him with disgust. “And this citadel can go fuck itself, I think I made my resignation from the Brotherhood pretty damn clear.”

“I understand how it might seem but no one other than me knew that you and Danse were lovers and that Father was your son.” He holds his head high. “In the eyes of the Brotherhood, you killed a traitor and destroyed one of the greatest threats to mankind in our time.” Even as he says the words he knows they mean little, he remembered how she looked when she told him about Father.

 

_A knock at his door. He turns around to look at the door from his spot in front of his terminal, where the report from the Mass Fusion mission shimmered. He places down his half-empty glass of scout. “Come in.”_

_Lottie enters, her small body shaking. She shuts the door behind her, she looks down at the floor, not meeting his eyes._

_“Paladin good evening, how can I help you?” He stands, looking down at her._

_“Can I have a hug, Arthur?” Her voice was so small. He should say no, this was unprofessional and break of protocol but he couldn’t fight her. He walks over, wrapping her in a tight hug. She shudders and starts to cry._

_“Lottie, what's wrong?” He whispers, leaning his head down into her hair._

_“He hates me…” Her voice broke into sobs._

_“Who? Father?” She nods. “Is this because of the mission? Why does it matter what he thinks? He’s evil.” He was so confused._

_“He’s my son…” She collapses in his arms, his grip the only thing keeping her from falling to the floor. He moves them to sit on his bed._

_“He’s your son? How-” He looks down and sighs, it clicks into place. He should be angry at her for not reporting this, for not telling him about this, but her sobs fill the air and all he can do is hold her close and rub her back. “Hush now it’s alright Lottie…” He whispers and soothes as she cries herself to sleep in his arms._

_She was so vulnerable. He laid her down in his bed and tucked her in, sleeping on his couch._

 

Lottie looks at him then down to the ground, seeming to remember the same as him. “Well, it doesn’t matter what the Brotherhood thinks. I’m not going back. I’m staying here with my son and my husband and our baby…” She looks down at her belly. “So if you have any sympathy Arthur,” She looks up into his eyes, pleading him. “Tell them your intel was wrong, you don’t know where I am.”

He closes his eyes and nods. “Of course.” He can hear her let out a sigh of relief.

“Love you go to work, I’ll walk him out of the city.” He opens his eyes to see her kiss Danse’s cheek. Danse reluctantly nods and walks away. Lottie looks back at him. “Let's go.”

The two walk in silence through the market, past the paper, to the gates. She pauses for a moment before turning her back to walk back to her life, simple happy life.

“Lottie!” He calls before he realizes his mouth was moving. She pauses but doesn’t turn to look at him. “We need you, I need you.” He needs to tell her, he needs to know she knows.

She looks back at him, tears in her eyes. “I know Arthur…” She closes her eyes. “Another me, another you, another life.” She turns back around and walks back into her happy life. Her happy life with her ten-year-old son, her husband, her baby.

 

_Another me, another you, another life._

_Not this me, not this you, not this life._

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! This is the first thing I've posted on here and my first time posting my writing in years. So yeah, thanks, I hope you enjoyed!


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